If you’ve ever been in any kind of relationship, then you know conflict is going to happen. Friendships, siblings, dating, parents—no matter what kind of relationship you have or how close you are, there’s no getting around conflict. And because of that, we have to find a way to disagree without destroying the relationships we have. But how do we do that when at the root of almost every reaction to conflict is anger? Sure anger might be what makes conflict in TV and movies so exciting, but, in real life, it can make us completely unhealthy if we don’t learn to handle it well. King Solomon, considered to be one of the wisest men who ever lived, wrote a book in the Bible full of practical wisdom called Proverbs. And what better place to look for wise ways to handle anger than in a book written by someone known for his wisdom? Solomon’s seemingly simple instructions offer us a practical solution to help keep ourselves from letting our anger become a danger.

SCRIPTURE

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check.

Ephesians 4:31 3All bitterness, anger, and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.

 

Small Group Questions 

1. What makes you angry?

2.When you are angry, how do you tend to respond…

  • Rage?
  • Distance yourself?
  • Pretend everything is great?
  • Indirect or subtle hostility?

3.In what ways can our responses to anger get us in trouble?

4.How do wise people bring “calm” in the end? What would that look like in your life?

5.Why is it a good idea to pause before you act in anger?

6.How does identifying the true issue help you manage your anger?

7.Name two healthy ways you can express anger.

8.Why do you think releasing (forgiving) is something that needs to be done over and over?

 

Question of the week

Who is someone you need to apologize to?

Action Step

Write out your apology and go say it to the person.

DEAR _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ _ __ __ __ _ ___
I AM VERY SORRY THAT I _ __ _ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ _ __ __ ___ _ __ __ __ __ __ ___ _ _ ____ ____ _ __
I REALIZE IT WAS WRONG BECAUSE __ __ _ __ __ __ __ __ _ __ _ __ _ _ __ __ _ _ ____ __
AND THERE’ S A GOOD CHANCE IT MADE YOU FEEL _ _ __ __ __ __ __ __ _ _ __ _ _ __ __ _ _ ____ _ __ __ __ __ __ __ _ _ __ _ _ __ __ _ _ ___
IT’ S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME TO GET THIS RIGHT. SO NEXT TIME I WILL DO MY BEST TO_ __ _ __ __ __ __ _ __ __ _ __ _ _ __ _ __ __ _
PLEASE FORGIVE ME